Groblins appear to be a mix of goblins and gremlins. They kept themselves hidden for untold centuries, yet for some reason chose to reveal their existence to Fantasy Artist Jeff Miracola. Very late one cold winter night, after Jeff had fallen asleep watching Game of Thrones, the groblins did not scramble away as usual when he stirred but instead allowed him to see them playing Mario Kart on his video game console. Jeff assumed he was dreaming, but the encounter would soon explain some of the greater mysteries of his life.
The miscreant creatures were in fact the reason behind so many disconcerting moments at home: misplaced objects, creaking sounds at night that he’d attributed to the house “settling,” and missing food, which he swore to his wife he hadn’t selfishly devoured on a late-night Ninja Lizards movie binge.
Perhaps it was their interest in the strange, fantastical worlds of Jeff’s artistic creations or perhaps it was simple curiosity at a human that seemed to never sleep, but, either way, the vexing little beasts teased Jeff with occasional sightings and regular, reckless pranks. Jeff has learned to keep the fire extinguisher handy.
To the best of Jeff’s reckoning, Groblins are perpetually playful, highly curious, sometimes sneaky, and always instigating little mischief-makers who are capable of both great affection and wanton destruction. At one moment they might coddle the kitten and at the next undermine the house’s foundation walls. Their unpredictability is at once their most charming and dangerous trait. Nothing is safe, not even fellow Groblins. Their most irksome trait? Their ability to inflame any situation, even if the blowout requires explosives. Groblins are therefore to be considered armed and dangerous. These loose cannons are now unleashed on an otherwise unsuspecting world, and Jeff doesn’t know how to stop them.
One tip that just may save your house and home: Groblins love marshmallows, to both eat and wear as hats. Keep a ready supply so they don’t turn their sights on you.